Breathing in Snowflakes Part one

White lips, pale face
Breathing in snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste

It was a snowy night. Gamzee was out freezing his ass off. Smoking whatever concocted drug that he had this time. He considered it like breathing in snowflakes. An easy feeling that was full of innocence. This drug taking wasn’t innocent but he liked to think about it like that. This had been going on for years and his lungs must have shriveled up into little things that were like prunes. The sour taste was as surprisingly acidic as the first time he ever smoked. He needed Karkat and he started to make his way there.

Lights gone, days end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men

Gamzee doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore. These drugs were practically his life. He would wake up and want them. He would go to bed and think about his next hit.  His outside life kind of dissipated as his addiction got to be too much. When was the last time he’s paid his rent? Mother of fuck, his life was going down the drain. He spent long nights with strange people. Most of the time being too buzzed out to remember what had happened but that was probably for the best. He went to all kinds of people just to get the drugs that he needed and spent long nights outside just trying to find someone to help him feel again.
And they say

She's in the class A team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since eighteen
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

Gamzee made it to Karkat’s house and knocked on the door. Karkat came to the door and opened it. Gamzee leisurely walked in as whatever he took before finally really started to kick in. He never took too much when going to see other people so it just kind of mellowed him out. Oh lookie there Karkat’s yelling at him again. When Gamzee thought about it, Karkat was all he had left. Everyone else left him after they all slowly noticed how bad his drug addiction really was. Karkat never left though. Good ole’ Karkat never even flinched or patted an eye when he learned what deep shit Gamzee was in. Karkat never treated Gamzee like he was a lower classmen.

Karkat was yelling. He was so mad. Why does Gamzee just throw his life away? He lives it half stoned. It just gets him so fucking upset. “Gamzee, god fucking damn it. You’re stoned off your ass aren’t you? Once again, you prove to disappoint me on all different pile of shit levels. Are you even listening to me?!” Karkat almost screeched with anger. He was literally seething. Gamzee’s been this way ever since the age of 18! It’s gotta stop.

“Karbro your mouth is all up and motherfuckin’ moving but I can’t hear what cha are up and saying.” Gamzee drawled. His voice slowing down like his whole system. The drugs made life seem like a daydream. These drugs disguised the ever looming sadness that he really felt. Everyone left him except one damn little hot-headed person. He was gonna blow! Someone needs to help him.

“Gamzee you can’t do this to your motherfucking self anymore! It’s destroying you. Degrading you. It’s making you some other person.” Karkat grumbled. Gamzee hadn’t seen himself in what seemed like years. It seemed like he was that lost little alley cat that got in too many fights. That sad lil alley cat that was hated by everyone by stealing their food. What the hell? He’s comparing his stoned friend to a cat.

“Karbro now you know that’s not a motherfucking true.” Gamzee started to tear up. Oh but it is true. It’s so very true. He’s just hiding in his addiction from his real life troubles. “Karbro I can’t even look at my motherfucking self. I’m so a disgusting person. Help me!” Gamzee shut his mouth tight. No one should know how he really feels. The tears were pouring from his already hazy looking eyes.